Tying the Knot: Tradition With a Twist-

How to plan a wedding that is uniquely you without upsetting your family

“What do you mean you’re not having sherry?!”

Welcome, to the whirlwind that is wedding planning. This is an exciting yet anxious time for all engaged couples and their families. Your wedding is not just a celebration of your love and union as a married couple, it also symbolises a milestone for your families and a union with them too.  I know from personal experience that navigating the delicate balance between family expectations and your own desires can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield at times.

However, never fear Jayne is here to help you create a ceremony that is uniquely yours. One that is perfect for the now but also embraces tradition in a way that is true to you as a couple while at the same time honouring the wishes of your family and keeping things peaceful.

When my husband and I got married in 1992 our choices were to marry in church or the drab registry office in the town where we lived. Along with this, there were many expectations on engaged couples then to do it ‘the traditional way.’ However, we knew that wasn’t for us, so we determinedly did things our way. My mum proudly gave me away, we had three Best Men, learned our vows by heart, included poems and songs personal to us, I did a wedding speech, by writing a poem about our love story and bravest of all, we had Pimms on arrival at the reception not sherry (I don’t like sherry), much to my Mother-in-law’s indignation. It was our day, our way!

So how did we manage to keep everyone happy and have a truly memorable day? With consideration, determination and imagination and if you want to do the same, here you go…

Start with a Heart-to-Heart

Before diving into colour palettes and cake tastings, have an open conversation with your partner about what traditions hold significance for both of you. Discuss your vision for the day and the elements you want to incorporate to reflect your personalities. Ask yourselves “Is this what we really want or what we think people will expect?”

Blend Old with New

Embracing tradition doesn’t mean you’re bound by it. Infuse your wedding with elements that resonate with you both. Write your own vows to reflect your relationship but perhaps add in a nod to your families and their principles. Use some ribbon from your mother’s wedding bouquet in your hand-fasting chords or make a ring bearing cushion from a favourite family picnic blanket. The possibilities are endless.

Create Meaningful Rituals

Incorporate rituals and customs that speak to your relationship. Whether it’s planting a tree together symbolising growth or sharing your love of gin by creating a special cocktail during the ceremony, infusing personal touches adds depth and authenticity to your wedding day.

Customise the Ceremony

Put your own spin on the ceremony without straying too far from tradition. Write your vows, include readings from beloved books or poems, have your favourite songs or music playing during the ceremony involve your friends and family members in ways that resonate with you. Choose a celebrant-led ceremony that allows you to do exactly this and a celebrant who can help you tell your love story in a way that captures the essence of you both. Touches like these make your ceremony unique and unforgettable.

Interactive Guest Experiences

Give your guests a taste of your love story with interactive experiences. These don’t just have to be part of the reception, they can be included in your ceremony. A ring-warming ritual, a wedding tree of guests’ good wishes, a sing-a-long version of your favourite song or a flash mob can all help to make cherished memories of your day.

Family Involvement

While it’s essential to honour your own wishes, be sensitive to your family’s desires too. A well-loved reading, poem or song can bring a tear and feeling of love. Incorporating cultural traditions or rituals that hold significance for your families will not only honour your heritage but also embraces a sense of inclusivity and belonging.

Keep Communication Lines Open

Navigating family expectations can be tricky, but clear communication is key. Share your vision with your families early on and listen to their input. Compromise where you can, but remember, it’s ultimately your day.

Focus on What Matters Most

Amidst all the planning and excitement, remember what truly matters – celebrating your love and commitment to each other. Keep perspective and don’t get too caught up in the details. At the end of the day, it’s about creating memories that will last a lifetime. By blending tradition with your unique personality, you can create a wedding day that’s not only fun and memorable but also meaningful and authentic. So go ahead, put your stamp on tradition, and celebrate your love in style!

Embrace the Unexpected

No matter how meticulously you plan, some surprises are bound to happen. Embrace them! It’s these spontaneous moments that make your wedding uniquely yours. Laugh off mishaps, dance in the rain if it pours, and cherish every imperfectly perfect moment.

Remember, that your wedding day is a celebration of your love story, a joyful union of tradition and individuality. By infusing your special day with personal touches while respecting family traditions, you create an experience that’s authentically yours. So, let your creativity soar, dance to the beat of your own drum, and savour every magical moment as you embark on this journey together. Cheers to love, laughter, and happily ever after!

If you would like me to help you to turn your wedding dreams into cherished moments, I would love to help! I will be there to support you along the way, listening to you, hearing you and getting you.

It’s your love, your life, your choice, your wedding!